Ex-wife

[DSSKing68]

Why, after 7 years, does my ex-wife continue to be an asshole? There are many instances, probably why we are divorced, but I am done with it. I am calling my attorney today, and going for full custody, which is next to impossible, but I will try if it takes every last penny I have.

So last night my daughter had a function at the church to show slides and talk about their recent mission trip. She called and invited my wife and I because she wanted us both to be there to see what they accomplished and share in it. I never miss something she asks me to come to. While the meeting was going on, she asked me if I knew if her mother was coming, which I replied I have no clue.

It was nice seeing my daughter do things for the less fortunate, in bad areas of the country that really need help. I was proud of her. We left not thinking much of her mother not being there, she usually puts school or work before most things.

Later that evening, my daughter calls me upset. Her mother is in the background chirping like a deranged bird. She is making my daughter choose who she wants at her events, her mother or me. She refuses to go anywhere my wife is at. Can you imagine, telling your 16 year old daughter to choose a parent? WTF. And I am the bad parent?? My daughter wants to move in with me but her mother won't let her, so we have already started court procedings for that. I guess I will just add more to it. UGH...we should just make the ex-wife subject a sticky.

Sorry for the vent....I am just sooooo done with her. I almost wish I would have stayed married just to make her life a living hell.

[akagreg3]

sorry for your troubles man,
only thing i can say is your daughter is 16 she can choose her self what parant she wants to live with and there nothing your ex can do about it, state law, after 16 the kid has the right to choose for them self but ask your lawyer to make sure i am correct.


gl man either way

[adragon72]

sorry for your troubles man,
only thing i can say is your daughter is 16 she can choose her self what parant she wants to live with and there nothing your ex can do about it, state law, after 16 the kid has the right to choose for them self but ask your lawyer to make sure i am correct.


gl man either way

i am with this guy teenagers can decide as long as your fit.

[qwk93ta]

I wish the best of luck, I've been there too.

[bobtsgt]

damn Mark. Sorry to hear your still going threw with all that crap. At least your doing the right thing in the legal sense. Keep staying positive bud. You will get there.

[Walter]

Phone book against the face, then punch phone book. No knuckle marks, no problem!

[331lx]

That's ridiculous, she old enough to decide who to live with at that age

[mad max]

The law states that its whats in the best intrest for the child , it is no longer what the child wants. I will be dealing with this in the not to distant future and was dissapointed when my lawyer told me its what the court deams is best for the child . Sorry you have to go thru this man , it does suck .

[Stangman]

Moral of the story..... don't marry!

[facemelter71]

The law states that its whats in the best intrest for the child , it is no longer what the child wants. I will be dealing with this in the not to distant future and was dissapointed when my lawyer told me its what the court deams is best for the child . Sorry you have to go thru this man , it does suck .

^^^ THIS. I decided when I was 14 to move out into my Dad's house after the divorce of my parents. Since I now have a daughter and was hoping she would be able to make the same decision that I made years ago,they change the law and now its up to the shitty court system.

When we filed for full custody,before anything,the court sent a case worker to the house to interview (yes INTERVIEW!!!) the wife and I and to investigate the house. They ask you questions about when you shop and how much you spend at the grocery store,when and how often you work. How much you made last year. How you and your wife met,how long you have been together,If you were ever split up at anytime. Its a big load of horseshit.

I wish you the best in your en devour and hope it is a short one.

Me and my EX,settled out of court.

[redfirepearlgt]

Don't you just love how the 'gub-mint' has weaved their way into controlling your life? I wait for the day when they will tell you WHO and IF you can get married and IF and WHEN you may have children. THat is of course except for those sooooo smart elites that know what's best for the "commoner". Starting to sound like 17th England again. Where you can attend church, what social class you will belong to, what you will do for a living, how much tax you will pay to your king...

[Mista Bone]

My son at age 16 was done with his mother and basically kicked her out of the trailer. With him working part time at Kroger's he was able to pay the rent and bills, internet and food while still going to school for two years.

Yeah he got some help from Mom and me but he made it. Now his mom wonders why she hasn't seen her grandson nor ever will until she admits her wrongs.

Your ex just wants the free money aka child support.

[DSSKing68]

I don't care about money or child support, I gladly pay my share. I just want her to allow me to be a Father again..

Thanks for the advice and well wishes.

[SCHMUCKINGHAM]

I just got married too LOL!



My parents used both my sister and myself as bargaining chips during their divorce, and they are the two most level headed people I know. I think during a divorce it changes people for the better or, like in most cases, the worst.

[redfirepearlgt]

I just got married too LOL!



My parents used both my sister and myself as bargaining chips during their divorce, and they are the two most level headed people I know. I think during a divorce it changes people for the better or, like in most cases, the worst.

you'll be fine. Guideline provided us when we had premarrital counseling - Never allow the word DIVORCE to be used in your house during an argument and you will lower the chances drastically. THink about it. If you never toss the word out in an argument you are less likely to be challenged to make good on it. Therefore you are more likely to work out the issue and then the make-up sex can start.......if over 45 makeup hug LOL!

[SCHMUCKINGHAM]

you'll be fine. Guideline provided us when we had premarrital counseling - Never allow the word DIVORCE to be used in your house during an argument and you will lower the chances drastically. THink about it. If you never toss the word out in an argument you are less likely to be challenged to make good on it. Therefore you are more likely to work out the issue and then the make-up sex can start.......if over 45 makeup hug LOL!

We joke about divorce but I would never consider it, I am in this for the long haul. I do know a lot of good people that went crazy after a divorce

[Steves LX]

This isn't directed towards any one party. This goes for both he and she. And if there's any bit of doubt before you say I Do. Then you dont marry that person. It's not that damn hard. Been married for 17 years now and sure we have had our ups and downs but you work thru it.
My definition of divorce is quite simple. (QUITTER).... I wasn't brought up as a quitter and it's not part of my vocabulary. It's just an easy way out. And marriage is just like a lot of other things in life. You have to work at it and want it to work in order for it to work.
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w174/steveslx/522980_331513113587068_220253383_n.jpg

[Mista Bone]

That makes my ex-wife a quitter x3, LOL!

[DSSKing68]

[QUOTE=Steves LX;724166]
My definition of divorce is quite simple. (QUITTER).... I wasn't brought up as a quitter and it's not part of my vocabulary. It's just an easy way out. And marriage is just like a lot of other things in life. You have to work at it and want it to work in order for it to work.
[QUOTE]

I completely disagree with you, but that is what is good in this world. We all have opinions and beliefs.

If you have ever been through a divorce, regardless of the circumstances, you would understand there is NOTHING about it being an easy way out. I do agree marriage is something that takes work and compromise, provided it is mutual.

I was also raised in a two parent family, my parents are still married, almost 50 years. That was my example growing up. I didn't get married planning on getting divorced. Some things happen to change circumstances, regardless of how hard you work on it.

[Steves LX]

[QUOTE=Steves LX;724166]
My definition of divorce is quite simple. (QUITTER).... I wasn't brought up as a quitter and it's not part of my vocabulary. It's just an easy way out. And marriage is just like a lot of other things in life. You have to work at it and want it to work in order for it to work.
[QUOTE]

I completely disagree with you, but that is what is good in this world. We all have opinions and beliefs.

If you have ever been through a divorce, regardless of the circumstances, you would understand there is NOTHING about it being an easy way out. I do agree marriage is something that takes work and compromise, provided it is mutual.

I was also raised in a two parent family, my parents are still married, almost 50 years. That was my example growing up. I didn't get married planning on getting divorced. Some things happen to change circumstances, regardless of how hard you work on it.

Thats why I said that statement wasn't directed towards just one person. Cause it seems now days at least one person is willing to work at it and make things work where the other isnt. In your case that would have appeared to be your ex.

[DSSKing68]

I agree, but also wanted to say I am not claiming to be innocent in the divorce either. She stuck with me through two bouts in rehab. The third one was the final straw. I had plenty of ass in why we are divorced.

I just want to be the best Father I can be now.

[redfirepearlgt]

I agree, but also wanted to say I am not claiming to be innocent in the divorce either. She stuck with me through two bouts in rehab. The third one was the final straw. I had plenty of ass in why we are divorced.

I just want to be the best Father I can be now.

I have no doubt you mean this. The time for who was at fault in the failed marriage is passed. It's time to move forward and raise a child that will take the right paths in life. That said...

It is a sad state of affair to say the least for your daughter. There is no reason why she should be made to choose in any parental situation. A wise judge will enforce family counseling regardless of his decision on custody. All three could be to blame in this game. Why do I say this? Hypothetically - One parent lets her stay out later than the other to gain favoritism, the other demands she pick which parent will be allowed to be at one of her functions, then one will buy her something the other can't afford or does not wish her to have. Then she the daughter learns to play the two against each other so she (the daughter) can have a blast at parents expense. Result - Utter Chaos.

A child has the best chance of success in life WITH BOTH PARENTS in her/his life...IF THEY GET ALONG. She/he is likely better off with only one parent involved IF the two cannot get along at all. Having the two using the child to get back at each other is just as damaging (IMO) as if the child had no parent at all. It only teaches the kid how to use people in lieu of how to respect people to cope in life when they become adults.

I am praying for your child's interest and that you and your ex-spouse will come to grips with the hatred between you (one-sided or two-sided). As with any volitile situation one of the two parties must humble themselves for the sake of settling the argument in order to move on. Taking the humble side does not make you the weaker person either. It builds perserverence that is key to gaining wisdom and maturity. A good start (if you haven't already) would be to never speak ill of your ex-spouse in the presence of your daughter. For that matter bring recognition in some area where the ex-spouse succeeds when around your daughter. She will pick up on that and respect you for it. Those kind words will make their way back to mommy. Then mommy will (at first be suspiscious) will see a pattern change and may eventually come to her senses. Good luck.