dedpedal
05-09-2012, 12:44 PM
Its been awhile since I've rambled aimlessly and some of yall have been clamouring for more adventures like a fat kids waiting for the chocholate waterfall at Golden Corral so here goes.
As some of you know, Ive been involved with a girl whos been often described as the female version of myself. I learn how true this is almost every day. This past weekend sealed the deal as she literaly "showed me the light". We had decided to take a weekend away from the hustle and bustle of our normal(?) lives and head for the Smokies . The entire trip down was fraught with a variety of anal emmissions leftover from the beer and pizza consumed at the bar the night before. I was doing my best to conceal the whiners and squeakers while praying I wouldnt have a leaker. As luck would have it we arrived with unsoiled undergarments and proceded to unpack and then relax on the deck while enjoying the view. I had a few more rectal releases as the day slowly faded into evening.
After a dinner of steak and potatoes we ajourned to the hot tub.My girl has heard of my quest to light a fart while in a hot tub and maintained that it couldnt be done. Relaxing with a cold beer while dinner made it way through the internal path of my body on its way to the exit. I had a few whizzers gurgle out but was unable to produce a flame. All the while she was laughing at my efforts, she was making fun of me by trying to light one herself. Low and behold, SHE was the one who lit the first butt bomb! The last time I heard her giggle this much was when she shot a paint can with her new AK pistol.
After she calmed down, it became her goal to squeeze off one that was louder and brighter than the last. All in all, I firmly believe that she was the reason NASA reported a solar flare in the middle of the night. She let one off that poofed outward like a mini butt nuke. A bright orange flame shot skyward and when my eyes adjusted to the flash I saw a look on her face that simply dripped with amazement. Like a kid discovering a magic trick, she tried for another.
Thats when I left the hot tub...
As some of you know, Ive been involved with a girl whos been often described as the female version of myself. I learn how true this is almost every day. This past weekend sealed the deal as she literaly "showed me the light". We had decided to take a weekend away from the hustle and bustle of our normal(?) lives and head for the Smokies . The entire trip down was fraught with a variety of anal emmissions leftover from the beer and pizza consumed at the bar the night before. I was doing my best to conceal the whiners and squeakers while praying I wouldnt have a leaker. As luck would have it we arrived with unsoiled undergarments and proceded to unpack and then relax on the deck while enjoying the view. I had a few more rectal releases as the day slowly faded into evening.
After a dinner of steak and potatoes we ajourned to the hot tub.My girl has heard of my quest to light a fart while in a hot tub and maintained that it couldnt be done. Relaxing with a cold beer while dinner made it way through the internal path of my body on its way to the exit. I had a few whizzers gurgle out but was unable to produce a flame. All the while she was laughing at my efforts, she was making fun of me by trying to light one herself. Low and behold, SHE was the one who lit the first butt bomb! The last time I heard her giggle this much was when she shot a paint can with her new AK pistol.
After she calmed down, it became her goal to squeeze off one that was louder and brighter than the last. All in all, I firmly believe that she was the reason NASA reported a solar flare in the middle of the night. She let one off that poofed outward like a mini butt nuke. A bright orange flame shot skyward and when my eyes adjusted to the flash I saw a look on her face that simply dripped with amazement. Like a kid discovering a magic trick, she tried for another.
Thats when I left the hot tub...