Dipstick
03-15-2010, 10:13 AM
A
man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on
the counter, and sees that it's filled to the
brim with $10 bills. He guesses there
must be at least ten thousand dollars in
it. He
approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with
the money in the jar?"
"Well...,
you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you
get all the money in the jar and the keys to
a brand new Lexus."
The
man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he
asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You
gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those
are the rules."
So,
after thinking it over a while, the man
gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the
jar.
"Okay,"
says the bartender, "here's what you need to
do:
First
- You have to drink a whole quart of
tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you
can't make a face while doing
it."
"Second
- There's a pit bull chained in the backwith a bad
tooth. You have to remove that tooth
with your bare
hands."
"Third
- There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never
had s*x. You have to take care of that
problem."
The
man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10
-- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do
it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a
quart of tequila and then do all those other
things!"
"Your
call," says the bartender, "but, your money
stays where it is."
As
time goes on, the man has a few more drinks
and finally says, "Where's the darn
tequila?!"
He
grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks
it as fast as he can. Tears
stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't
make a face -- and he drinks it in 58
seconds!
Next,
he staggers out the back door where he sees the
pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the
people inside the bar hear loud growling,
screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then
nothing but silence!
Just
when they think that the man surely must be dead,
he staggers back into the bar. His
clothes are ripped to shreds and he's
bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now...,
where's that old woman with the bad
tooth?"
man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on
the counter, and sees that it's filled to the
brim with $10 bills. He guesses there
must be at least ten thousand dollars in
it. He
approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with
the money in the jar?"
"Well...,
you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you
get all the money in the jar and the keys to
a brand new Lexus."
The
man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he
asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You
gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those
are the rules."
So,
after thinking it over a while, the man
gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the
jar.
"Okay,"
says the bartender, "here's what you need to
do:
First
- You have to drink a whole quart of
tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you
can't make a face while doing
it."
"Second
- There's a pit bull chained in the backwith a bad
tooth. You have to remove that tooth
with your bare
hands."
"Third
- There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never
had s*x. You have to take care of that
problem."
The
man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10
-- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do
it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a
quart of tequila and then do all those other
things!"
"Your
call," says the bartender, "but, your money
stays where it is."
As
time goes on, the man has a few more drinks
and finally says, "Where's the darn
tequila?!"
He
grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks
it as fast as he can. Tears
stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't
make a face -- and he drinks it in 58
seconds!
Next,
he staggers out the back door where he sees the
pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the
people inside the bar hear loud growling,
screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then
nothing but silence!
Just
when they think that the man surely must be dead,
he staggers back into the bar. His
clothes are ripped to shreds and he's
bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now...,
where's that old woman with the bad
tooth?"