rush88GT
01-21-2010, 04:19 PM
1) I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
3) Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check
your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself
to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by
randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
4) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
5) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
7) I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
8) The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.
9) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
10) How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
11) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
12) Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said
"Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
13) What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow
each other?
14) While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
15) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
16) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
17) If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.
18) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.
19) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
20) There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
21) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear
I did not make any changes to.
22) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and
run away?
23) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
24) I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
25) Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
26) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
27) Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
28) My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
29) I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.
2) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
3) Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check
your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself
to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by
randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
4) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
5) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
7) I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
8) The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.
9) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
10) How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
11) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
12) Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said
"Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
13) What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow
each other?
14) While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
15) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
16) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
17) If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.
18) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.
19) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
20) There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
21) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear
I did not make any changes to.
22) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and
run away?
23) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
24) I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
25) Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
26) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
27) Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
28) My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
29) I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.