You might be in the military if.....

[MustangChuck]

I started this on a few military car club websites. Its for all the current military, veterans, and people who are in the know about this kinda stuff:

Keep adding to this if or when you can think of some stuff to add. Lets see how many we can get!

You might be in the military if.....

You say "trackin" instead of "I follow you" or "I understand".

You say "Roger" instead of "Yes" or "OK".

When you are walking with a military buddy, you often times find yourself with perfect spacing and/or in perfect step, as if you were marching.

['92Stang]

Not sure if it's a term used in all the military. But, in the Marines everything you owned military wise was referred to as Trash..lol

Also your socks became your pockets while in uniform..:lol:

[Black Horse]

...when you start speaking of time in the "oh-eight-hundred" ways

[stang5slow]

Also your socks became your pockets while in uniform..:lol:


lol, still keep using military dates and times also

[5.0calypso93lx]

When you have to use the latrine and not the bathroom.

When every meal is called chow.

When you can wipe your butt with one square of toilet paper by sticking your finger in your anus and wipe all the crap off your finger with the one square of toilet paper :lol:

When you hate the entire state of Georgia because Ft. Benning sucks in the middle of the summer :lol:

When you still fold your bedsheets like you did in the military.

I'm sure I'll think of more :lol:

[Kwik92GT]

You start calling walls "bulkheads"
Ceilings are "overheads"
Your head becomes your "brain housing group"
A grocery store becomes the "commissary"
A hat becomes a "cover"
toilet = head

Hmmm .... mentioned head a few times there .... don't know what that's all about :dunno:

[FMGT1999]

You might be in the military if.....

When people ask you what kind of car do you own and you start telling them a...

Foxtrot
Oscar
Romeo
Delta

Mike
Uniform
Sierra
Tango
Alpha
November
Golf

and answer with sir!

[Foxxx5oh]

When you hate the entire state of Georgia because Ft. Benning sucks in the middle of the summer :lol:

or if you had basic at benning, AIT at gordon, and went back to benning for airborne school...lol

but back to topic lol

you scoff at people when they talk badly about jumping from airplanes or skydivers...sure its easy to jump with just a chute...

when instead of saying "huh?" or "what?" you reply with "say again?"

every time you put on a pair of boots, you find yourself blousing your jeans

you find yourself laughing at people in BDU's that TRY to pass as someone who's been in the military, until they realize, there is no blue or white BDUs

you wonder why people at a shooting range look at you funny for how you carry your rifle

you also wonder why said people look at you like you are crazy for going prone to shoot

you have a story about being shot with a blank round by a buddy (LOL)

when you see a security perimeter at an event and start to gauge all the ways that it can be breached without contact

and the last one im gonna put up for now...

when you find yourself walking in step with friends, or even random people at the mall

[USMCPONY]

When you tell your kids to commense field day.

[Markcore]

If you go on "leave", instead of "vacation". LOL


Here is something I posted last year. As a prior Paratrooper in the US Army, I found it damn funny - others did not....


Steps to Recovery/Integration for Soldiers becoming civilians.

1. Admit:
"I was in the Army; I have a problem." This is the first step to recovery...

2. Speech:
Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0430 or 1400; it is 4:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early).

Words like latrine, overhead, fourth point of cantact, bunk, and "PT" will get you weird looks; bathroom, ceiling, ass, and workout... get used to it.

"****" cannot be used to -replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um".

Grunting is not talking.

It's a phone, not a radio; do not use words like roger, say again, send it and conversations on a phone do not end in "out"

People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from Warner Barracks or that you spent a year deployed in the sand box.

Likewise people will not understand you when you use expressions like "watch your six."

3. Style:
Do not put creases in your jeans.
Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.
A high and tight looks really dumb as well.
A hat indoors does not make you a bad person; it makes you like the rest of the world; what's more it's a hat and not a cover.
You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.

4. Women:
Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.

Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.

Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard.

5. Personal accomplishments:
In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.

Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.

How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.

The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.

6. Drinking:
In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you"

That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a conversation starter.

That time you went to the combat life saver school and practiced giving vodka IV's will also not be a good conversation starter.

7. Bodily functions:
Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be viewed as "unprofessional".

The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled.

You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is.
VD will also not be funny

8. The human body:
Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.

9. Spending habits:
One day, you will have to pay bills
Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 a year salary is a really bad idea.
Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.
One day you will need health insurance .

10. Interacting with civilians (AKA YOU):
Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.

11. Real jobs:
They really can fire you.

On the flip side you really can quit.

Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too.

Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.

Remember 9-5 not 0430 to 1700

12. The Law:
UCMJ does not exist and will not save you from prison.

Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested

Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job

Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won.

13. General knowledge:
You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public.

Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.

They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite.

Read the contracts before you sign them; remember what happened last time.

[Markcore]

:wave: GUILTY on all accounts LOL!!! :lol:

[Foxxx5oh]

:wave: GUILTY on all accounts LOL!!! :lol:

as am i...lol

[NUTTSGT]

Laugh at people when they talk about shooting something 200 yards away with a scope on their rifle.