Stock Market Terms

[Black Horse]

In light of recent developments in the Stock Market, several terms have been revised:

CEO-Chief Embezzlement Officer



CFO- Corporate Fraud Officer



BULL MARKET -A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself
for a financial genius

BEAR MARKET -a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife
gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.



VALUE INVESTING -The art of buying low and selling lower.

STRONG

P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.



BROKER-What my financial planner has made me.



STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell.



STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.



MARKET CORRECTION -The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW -The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.



YAHOO-What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.



WINDOWS-What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240
per share.



INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.


PROFIT-an archaic word no longer in use.