mustangjon
01-21-2009, 10:03 AM
Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet 'Sheriff' the Wonder Dog' and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I related that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit both of us.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I related that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit both of us.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.