Black Horse
10-14-2008, 07:09 AM
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genuis.
BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance & the wife gets no jewelry.
VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER - What my stock adviser has made me.
STANDARD AND POOR -YOUR LIFE IN A NUTSHELL
Stock Analyst - The idiot that just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION - The day AFTER you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240.00 a share.
WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240.00 a share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
PROFIT - AN ARCHAIC WORD NO LONGER IN USE.
CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genuis.
BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance & the wife gets no jewelry.
VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER - What my stock adviser has made me.
STANDARD AND POOR -YOUR LIFE IN A NUTSHELL
Stock Analyst - The idiot that just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION - The day AFTER you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240.00 a share.
WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240.00 a share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
PROFIT - AN ARCHAIC WORD NO LONGER IN USE.