Mr.Moontang
03-27-2008, 12:56 PM
Most people think that cars are something new, but the true Bible scholar knows different. The Bible very plainly states that Moses had a Rod, and his brother Aaron had a Rod, too. God must have one also, because David in the 23rd Psalm says, "Thy Rod comforts me."
People assume that the WWJD stands for "What would Jesus do?" But again, we know that the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth, because his Father drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury. Later, in Psalm 83:15 David tells us that the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest, and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Meanwhile, Moses must have rode around on an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in all the hills." And could it be that Joshua had a Triumph sports car with a bad muffler. The scriptures say that "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in the gospel of John where Christ tells the people, "For I did not speak of my own Accord. And following their Masters lead, the apostles carpooled in a Honda, as the scriptures say, "The Apostles were all in one Accord."
People assume that the WWJD stands for "What would Jesus do?" But again, we know that the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth, because his Father drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury. Later, in Psalm 83:15 David tells us that the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest, and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Meanwhile, Moses must have rode around on an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in all the hills." And could it be that Joshua had a Triumph sports car with a bad muffler. The scriptures say that "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in the gospel of John where Christ tells the people, "For I did not speak of my own Accord. And following their Masters lead, the apostles carpooled in a Honda, as the scriptures say, "The Apostles were all in one Accord."