joke

[Rick93coupe]

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California.
Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up.
About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.

"What can I do for y'all?" asks the attendant. "Fill `er up with high test," replies
the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down.
"What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before." "Well," responds
the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille."

"What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant. "Well," says the driver, "it has everything.
It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio
with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack
and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package,
and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine."

"Wow," says the attendant, "that's really something!" "How much do I owe you for the
gasoline?" asks the driver. "That'll be $30.17," says the attendant.

The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other
pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees.
"What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant. "That's what I put my balls
on when I drive," says the driver. "Wow," says the attendant, "those Cadillac people
think of everything!"

[Rick93coupe]

Another...


Steve and John, two builders, are sitting having a couple of
pints in a spit and sawdust pub, chewing the fat and such when
a well heeled business type chap walks in with his blackberry
and briefcase in tow, sits at the bar and orders a G & T.

The two are surprised to see someone dressed up so smart in
the notorious tavern they are in and begin to discuss what this
city gent could do for a living.

"Accountant or Lawyer, no danger" says John

"Nah, looks like a lawyer to me" says Steve

Time and fluid passes and, as Steve heads to the Gents, so
does the chap at the bar.

"Ask him what he does for a living" says John

"Alright" says Steve

The two men are next to each other at the urinal, going about
their respective businesses, so Steve takes the oppurtinity to broach the subject.

"Sorry to be intrusive fella, but what do you do for a living?"

"No intrusion at all" replies the man "I'm a logical scientist"

"A what?" says Steve "What's that all about then?"

"Tell you what, I'll give you an example" offers the man "Do
you own a goldfish?"

"Yes I do" answers Steve

"And logically speaking, you keep this in a pond or a bowl, I
assume" says the scientist.

"A pond actually" says Steve

"So on that basis I would go so far to say as you have a decent
size garden then"

"Huge" says Steve

"In which case, and correct me if I'm wrong, you have a fairly
large house?"

"Yep, five bedrooms, built it myself"

"Nice, good, well done pal, so I would assume that having five
bedrooms you don't live on your own then" suggests the scientist
"Correct, I live with the wife and our three kids"

"Sounds lovely, so without wishing to become too personal, you and
the wife have a fairly good sex life, what with popping out three
little ones!"

"Fairly good! Me and the wife are at it 6 times a week without
fail!" Exclaims Steve

"Nice one mate, get in. So, logically, with all that sex going
on you don't masturbate very often?" enquires the scientist

"Me......never" says Steve

"Well there you have it then" says the scientist. "From me asking
if you have a goldfish, I've found out about your 'personal
reflection time' habits"

"Thats amazing" says Steve, before they say goodbye, put their
pieces away and head back to the bar. Steve sits down and carries
on supping his ale.

"WELL" says John "What does he do then?"

"Oh, he's a logical scientist" Steve answers

"What's that all about then?" enquires John

"I'll give you an example" says Steve "Do you own a goldfish?"

"No" says John

"Well then" says Steve "You jack off"