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BigBadStang
02-07-2008, 03:54 PM
My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you."
The wife replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
"A billionaire." she replied.

A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"Dad! I've found a woman just like mother"
His father replied, "So what do you want? Sympathy?"

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for
whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of
what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a
million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once

96mysticman
02-07-2008, 05:38 PM
bwahahaha thats purty good

beefcake
02-07-2008, 11:24 PM
rofl :)

Black Horse
02-07-2008, 11:51 PM
Oh thanks...now I need to clean the Mt. Dew out of the keyboard again!

myownr
02-09-2008, 12:44 AM
you forgot......For Sale, complete set of encyclopedias, wife knows everything