dedpedal
07-22-2007, 01:11 PM
Its like flying back in time to when I wasnt concerned with the things I posted or what people thought of them.
Im currnetly looking for the Mushroom Stamp thread.
Boobs
Ive led a long and mostly healthy life and have come to understand that there are phases in a mans life that are directly related to boob size.
Early in life when you find that first Playboy in dads garage its bigguns. The bigger the better. You have no idea what youd would do with them but thats what you want. Massive chest basket ball sized hooters. The kind that would give you stretch marks on your mouth. This is the expectation you are instilled with from the beginning so it never quite goes away, it just lies dormant for life.
As you venture into middle school, you learn the hard truth that girls just dont have big knockers yet so you hunt out the girl who has blossomed early and has at least a hand hold. Granted, these baseball sized lollipops are the first that you get to feel up in the movies but at the time its a miraculous event. You share the details of the encounter with anyone who will listen in hopes of being the King Stud of 6th grade. Never mind that some poor girl just got promoted to class slut and will most likely be having kids before shes 15. You just got our first feel and thats all that matters.
Fast forward to 8th grade. You still are getting to feel up the class slut, but her boobs have grown quite a bit since the last time. Now she has figured out the hand job. Not only are you getting to carress her melons but shes making the experiance all that much better. More groping to come.
Lets skip a few years to high school. Still chasing the big trophies. You dont notice the chick with the horn rimmed glasses and the small titties. Hell there GUYS with bigger man tits. Here comes prom and no date. Out of desparation, you ask her out in hopes of ditching her at the prom and finding some action from the class slut. (yea shes still around) It doesnt happen and your resigned to itty bitty titty girl. You figure why not? So the car dissapears up some dark road and the prom dress comes off quicker than a bikini wax. This girl is a freak behind those glasses. She uses her boobies in ways you never dreamed. All the while, you missed second and third base and headed right for home plate. A new found respect has been entered in your mind.
Then theres the 20s. Still looking for the maximum weight that a bra will hold. Too bad its usualy on the ugliest girl in the bar. never mind, drink another beer. She looks a little better than when you walked in. chug a few shots on her. Now shes not looking half bad. 2 more beers and you want to see what under the big top.
Out to the car and off to her appartment. The best head you ever had but now its morning and not only cant you sneak out, she wants to cuddle. Oh well gotta give on up for the team. On the way out you give her a well thought out number and say to call sometime. This behavior can happen for an extended period of time.
Lets jump into the 30s now. the hunt is pretty much over. You decided that boobs are boobs and as long as she has more than you, its ok. Theres still some hotties out there and you can still have fun. Gravity is starting to take effect on your prescious boobies. Its a fact of life and youll get over it. theyre still fun to play with so wtf? The sex hasnt been better in your life. The class slut is out of the picture by now with 5-6 kids and welfare. No need for her anymore. YOU ARE THE MAN! Youve discovered that putting your johnson between those fun bags is almost as much fun as a good blow job. Once you focus on that, you wont think of "The Method" ever again. A pearl necklace for your honey isnt exactly what she was expecting. Much less when you cement her eys shut with your love goo. The 30s are a wonderful time.
Now onward to the 40s. Anytime you can get it up, youre chasing the woman around the house like a monkey chasing a banana. She wont give it up no matter how much you dry hump her titties. Ah well, you go and jerk off on her side of the bed. Shes sleeping in the wet spot whether she enjoyed it or not. All this for what? Shes out the door and youre back at the bar looking for some action. Look theres that chick from 6th grade that you got to feel up in the movie. You saunter over for a better look. Yea, shes put on a few pounds but still cute and the front boulders never looked better. You had no idea that there was a wonder bra that big. You strike up a conversation and head back to her place. The kids are with their daddies and the night is yours.
Some quick foreplay and off comes the clothes. Bet you never expected those hooters to unroll to her knees like that did ya? If they fal on you you will be smothered in a pile of flesh. Whats that smell? Damn, smells like some seriously rotten cottage cheese. You open your eyes to see whats going on and see the mounds of cottage cheese that you are swimming in. You cant run. This Jabba the Hut looking pile of kiddie feeder has you pinned. Shes getting even with you for that first feel. Things go dim as your oxegen wheres out. The next morning, you can safely leave the premises since shes working the corner. Just leave a nice tip and hope she doesnt hunt you down.
50s are gonna suck for you. Those monster mammaries that you have hunted all your life are still out of reach. At this point anything goes. Youre way to old to be picky. Youre supply of viagra is almost gone from hitting it everynight with the lady next door. Shes built nice and has taken good care of herself. The problem is that viagra messes with your mind and your family has to put you in a home because you refuse to wear clothes and insist that theey salute your little general. Surprise! you made it past the freaky 50s.
Now your in your 60s and the home isnt all that bad. You have long ago figured out how to undo your strait jacket and lick the lock on your room (cell) door. Cruising the hallways for babes with big tits is all you live for. The broom closet is your favorite hide out. Here come that hot nurse that youve had an eye on! You pull up your night shirt to see that your little buddy is still alive and interested. By the grace of the love god, she does things to you that you only saw in porn movies. Whats that sharp pain? OH NO youve had a heart attack.
70s. No longer tied to a bed since you cant move anyways, the only enjoyment you get in life is the pudding cups with your lunch. You notice a new nurse on the floor. Shes about 25 and has the biggest titties youve ever seen! On scanning the mammary memory banks you can only recognise her as the centerfold that you saw in dads garage so many years ago. Funny how life can kick you in the nuts like that.
Im currnetly looking for the Mushroom Stamp thread.
Boobs
Ive led a long and mostly healthy life and have come to understand that there are phases in a mans life that are directly related to boob size.
Early in life when you find that first Playboy in dads garage its bigguns. The bigger the better. You have no idea what youd would do with them but thats what you want. Massive chest basket ball sized hooters. The kind that would give you stretch marks on your mouth. This is the expectation you are instilled with from the beginning so it never quite goes away, it just lies dormant for life.
As you venture into middle school, you learn the hard truth that girls just dont have big knockers yet so you hunt out the girl who has blossomed early and has at least a hand hold. Granted, these baseball sized lollipops are the first that you get to feel up in the movies but at the time its a miraculous event. You share the details of the encounter with anyone who will listen in hopes of being the King Stud of 6th grade. Never mind that some poor girl just got promoted to class slut and will most likely be having kids before shes 15. You just got our first feel and thats all that matters.
Fast forward to 8th grade. You still are getting to feel up the class slut, but her boobs have grown quite a bit since the last time. Now she has figured out the hand job. Not only are you getting to carress her melons but shes making the experiance all that much better. More groping to come.
Lets skip a few years to high school. Still chasing the big trophies. You dont notice the chick with the horn rimmed glasses and the small titties. Hell there GUYS with bigger man tits. Here comes prom and no date. Out of desparation, you ask her out in hopes of ditching her at the prom and finding some action from the class slut. (yea shes still around) It doesnt happen and your resigned to itty bitty titty girl. You figure why not? So the car dissapears up some dark road and the prom dress comes off quicker than a bikini wax. This girl is a freak behind those glasses. She uses her boobies in ways you never dreamed. All the while, you missed second and third base and headed right for home plate. A new found respect has been entered in your mind.
Then theres the 20s. Still looking for the maximum weight that a bra will hold. Too bad its usualy on the ugliest girl in the bar. never mind, drink another beer. She looks a little better than when you walked in. chug a few shots on her. Now shes not looking half bad. 2 more beers and you want to see what under the big top.
Out to the car and off to her appartment. The best head you ever had but now its morning and not only cant you sneak out, she wants to cuddle. Oh well gotta give on up for the team. On the way out you give her a well thought out number and say to call sometime. This behavior can happen for an extended period of time.
Lets jump into the 30s now. the hunt is pretty much over. You decided that boobs are boobs and as long as she has more than you, its ok. Theres still some hotties out there and you can still have fun. Gravity is starting to take effect on your prescious boobies. Its a fact of life and youll get over it. theyre still fun to play with so wtf? The sex hasnt been better in your life. The class slut is out of the picture by now with 5-6 kids and welfare. No need for her anymore. YOU ARE THE MAN! Youve discovered that putting your johnson between those fun bags is almost as much fun as a good blow job. Once you focus on that, you wont think of "The Method" ever again. A pearl necklace for your honey isnt exactly what she was expecting. Much less when you cement her eys shut with your love goo. The 30s are a wonderful time.
Now onward to the 40s. Anytime you can get it up, youre chasing the woman around the house like a monkey chasing a banana. She wont give it up no matter how much you dry hump her titties. Ah well, you go and jerk off on her side of the bed. Shes sleeping in the wet spot whether she enjoyed it or not. All this for what? Shes out the door and youre back at the bar looking for some action. Look theres that chick from 6th grade that you got to feel up in the movie. You saunter over for a better look. Yea, shes put on a few pounds but still cute and the front boulders never looked better. You had no idea that there was a wonder bra that big. You strike up a conversation and head back to her place. The kids are with their daddies and the night is yours.
Some quick foreplay and off comes the clothes. Bet you never expected those hooters to unroll to her knees like that did ya? If they fal on you you will be smothered in a pile of flesh. Whats that smell? Damn, smells like some seriously rotten cottage cheese. You open your eyes to see whats going on and see the mounds of cottage cheese that you are swimming in. You cant run. This Jabba the Hut looking pile of kiddie feeder has you pinned. Shes getting even with you for that first feel. Things go dim as your oxegen wheres out. The next morning, you can safely leave the premises since shes working the corner. Just leave a nice tip and hope she doesnt hunt you down.
50s are gonna suck for you. Those monster mammaries that you have hunted all your life are still out of reach. At this point anything goes. Youre way to old to be picky. Youre supply of viagra is almost gone from hitting it everynight with the lady next door. Shes built nice and has taken good care of herself. The problem is that viagra messes with your mind and your family has to put you in a home because you refuse to wear clothes and insist that theey salute your little general. Surprise! you made it past the freaky 50s.
Now your in your 60s and the home isnt all that bad. You have long ago figured out how to undo your strait jacket and lick the lock on your room (cell) door. Cruising the hallways for babes with big tits is all you live for. The broom closet is your favorite hide out. Here come that hot nurse that youve had an eye on! You pull up your night shirt to see that your little buddy is still alive and interested. By the grace of the love god, she does things to you that you only saw in porn movies. Whats that sharp pain? OH NO youve had a heart attack.
70s. No longer tied to a bed since you cant move anyways, the only enjoyment you get in life is the pudding cups with your lunch. You notice a new nurse on the floor. Shes about 25 and has the biggest titties youve ever seen! On scanning the mammary memory banks you can only recognise her as the centerfold that you saw in dads garage so many years ago. Funny how life can kick you in the nuts like that.