pilots/airplane people

[shep]

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school
diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our
jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P)
and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

thought some of ya might get a kick out of that.....

[Mavowar]

HA HA HA!!!

It is my understanding that airplane mechanics under go alot of certifications and all work is checked by more than one mechanic before a plane is released back into service.

I could be wrong though any Airplane Mechs on here?
I would like a factual answer:)

[1989GT]

Seen that one before...still funny.

It is my understanding that airplane mechanics under go alot of certifications
This is true, for the most part. Certificated mechanics typically go through about 2 years of school to be able to test for the airframe and powerplant license. Most end up with an associates degree. Unless you have experiance meeting the class room requirements (military) and then you can just test for the license. Which is what I did. It is possible for someone without a license to work on an aircraft but their work must be checked by an A&P mechanic, and the A&P puts his name on their work.

all work is checked by more than one mechanic before a plane is released back into service.
All major repairs are double checked by an inspector.

Not all pilots have college degrees. In the army Warrant Officers can fly without a college degree.

[Mista Bone]

Take a short class and you can be a DISPATCHER!

My buddy took a class down in N. Ky for it, now works EJ in Port Columbus.

[quik lx]

I had a pilot tell me the radar didn't work in the O.F.F. position.

I told him that it didn't mean: On For Flight



I deal with 8 of these asshole every day, we always make fun of them. They will tell you stuff like the velcro didnt seem tacky enough?

It pays good though:D

[mailman]

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school
diploma to fix one.

I had my pilots license before I graduated from HS...:confused:

I actually did LOL at the last one :)

[DSSKing68]

HA HA HA!!!

It is my understanding that airplane mechanics under go alot of certifications and all work is checked by more than one mechanic before a plane is released back into service.

I could be wrong though any Airplane Mechs on here?
I would like a factual answer:)

Aircraft Mechanic here....I have seen/made some funny sign off before just to jack flight crews around....!:flipoff:

[jrmylmach1]

I had a pilot tell me the radar didn't work in the O.F.F. position.

I told him that it didn't mean: On For Flight



I deal with 8 of these asshole every day, we always make fun of them. They will tell you stuff like the velcro didnt seem tacky enough?

It pays good though:D

Gee, I hope that I'm not one of those "asshole" that you deal with. I really don't like when people bunch an entire group of people into one large generalization like that. I have dealt with a bunch of "asshole" mechanics in my time but I wouldn't say they are all like that. Just a few. Now as far as velcro not feeling tacky enough, if it isn't holding what it is supposed to hold then it needs to be replaced. After all, that is what it is for, HOLDING stuff. I have had some write ups where when the mech got there he was acting all p.o.'d for having to fix it. Things like seats that don't adjust correctly. Most mech's don't understand that if the seat can't go in the position we want, then the flight isn't safe.

All right, enough of my rant. The whole "asshole" comment really ticked me off. And yes, I do have a college degree. I also did time in the Army as a helicopter mechanic so I know both sides.

The pay isn't as good as everyone thinks.:mad:

Jeremy

[Gene]

The pay isn't as good as everyone thinks.:mad:

Not according to Adlai Hardin... ;)

[DSSKing68]

Gee, I hope that I'm not one of those "asshole" that you deal with. I really don't like when people bunch an entire group of people into one large generalization like that. I have dealt with a bunch of "asshole" mechanics in my time but I wouldn't say they are all like that. Just a few. Now as far as velcro not feeling tacky enough, if it isn't holding what it is supposed to hold then it needs to be replaced. After all, that is what it is for, HOLDING stuff. I have had some write ups where when the mech got there he was acting all p.o.'d for having to fix it. Things like seats that don't adjust correctly. Most mech's don't understand that if the seat can't go in the position we want, then the flight isn't safe.

All right, enough of my rant. The whole "asshole" comment really ticked me off. And yes, I do have a college degree. I also did time in the Army as a helicopter mechanic so I know both sides.

The pay isn't as good as everyone thinks.:mad:

Jeremy

I agree with you. After spending 17 years with Delta as a aircraft mechanic, I can assure you I witnesssed more than one mechanic treat flight crews like idiots, actually putting them down and scolding them. I also have experienced the wrath of more than one captain who wasn't happy with my corrective action or my sign off in the logbook. Life goes on.

The flight attendents are actually the biggest pains in the ass anyway. I hated all those nickel dime cabin discrepancies.

[5.0calypso93lx]

Gee, I hope that I'm not one of those "asshole" that you deal with. I really don't like when people bunch an entire group of people into one large generalization like that. I have dealt with a bunch of "asshole" mechanics in my time but I wouldn't say they are all like that. Just a few. Now as far as velcro not feeling tacky enough, if it isn't holding what it is supposed to hold then it needs to be replaced. After all, that is what it is for, HOLDING stuff. I have had some write ups where when the mech got there he was acting all p.o.'d for having to fix it. Things like seats that don't adjust correctly. Most mech's don't understand that if the seat can't go in the position we want, then the flight isn't safe.

All right, enough of my rant. The whole "asshole" comment really ticked me off. And yes, I do have a college degree. I also did time in the Army as a helicopter mechanic so I know both sides.

The pay isn't as good as everyone thinks.:mad:

Jeremy

Relax dude, I'm pretty sure this thread was made just to make people laugh. I sure thought it was funny!

[Her GT]

Gee, I hope that I'm not one of those "asshole" that you deal with. I really don't like when people bunch an entire group of people into one large generalization like that. I have dealt with a bunch of "asshole" mechanics in my time but I wouldn't say they are all like that. Just a few. Now as far as velcro not feeling tacky enough, if it isn't holding what it is supposed to hold then it needs to be replaced. After all, that is what it is for, HOLDING stuff. I have had some write ups where when the mech got there he was acting all p.o.'d for having to fix it. Things like seats that don't adjust correctly. Most mech's don't understand that if the seat can't go in the position we want, then the flight isn't safe.

All right, enough of my rant. The whole "asshole" comment really ticked me off. And yes, I do have a college degree. I also did time in the Army as a helicopter mechanic so I know both sides.

The pay isn't as good as everyone thinks.:mad:

Jeremy


I don't think he ment all Pilots. The ones he works with are over paid and are pampered. The company is very good to their pilots. They treat him like shit most of the time. Like he is Beneath them because he is just a mechanic. Well I will let you know that he is very Intelligent when it comes to airplanes and how they are wired and work. You know he does keep them working. Plus he did spend 8 years in the Navy as a jet mechanic and still continues school till this day. Mechanics have to take classes all the time to keep up with new Technology.. I know this because I am at home w/ our son for a week to a month while he is at them. I think you just took it the wrong way. I don't think he ment it to sound like that.

[quik lx]

He just proves my point...sounds just like a pilot.:mad:

They would complain about the automatic ball scratcher scratching at the wrong frequency.:booty:

As for the pay I see MY pilots making 150K+ and getting 30K (cash) bonuses. Sounds rough!

This guy sounds like a disgruntled Delta pilot.

[Her GT]

:dunno: Ok maybe I was wrong.

[Dipstick]

I was in the Navy for 4 years and was a jet engine mechanic. Can anyone tell me hopw I go about getting my A&P. I want to get back into working on planes. Also is there a high demand in ohio or KY for mechanics?

[quik lx]

Yes they check most planes at least 3 times before they go back into service.

3 times how? there is a mechanic and inspector for every job.

[Dipstick]

I was only speaking from my Navy experience. They checked us with our leading p.o. and then Q.A. checked us and then one of the pilots checked it.

[Gene]

This guy sounds like a disgruntled Delta pilot.

He's Comair, not Delta. Even the top guys at Comair make barely into six figures, and it's even less now because of the pay cuts that just went into effect. We're not talking about $250k a year Delta mainline captains here. :)

Besides, look at it this way...wouldn't you prefer that your pilots be paid enough that the qualified, skilled guys stay in the industry vs. leaving for greener pastures somewhere else? Aircraft Mechanics aren't exactly low-paid individuals either, btw, compared to techs in many other industries. Also, the pilots are the most responsible people in the company for keeping an airline profitable...their actions directly affect fuel burn (an airline's single largest non-capital expense)...no airline should want their pilot group disgruntled.

[FoxEgirl]

thats a good find.


i have respect for pilots.... :dunno:
they get us to and from safely

And for mechanics
they get us there and back too

Both are ok in my book

just my two cents :yup:

[jrmylmach1]

He just proves my point...sounds just like a pilot.:mad:

They would complain about the automatic ball scratcher scratching at the wrong frequency.:booty:

As for the pay I see MY pilots making 150K+ and getting 30K (cash) bonuses. Sounds rough!

This guy sounds like a disgruntled Delta pilot.

Well, quik lx, you just proved my point. You hate all pilots. :flipoff:

I usually don't like to get into arguments. Either online or in person. But your post rubbed me the wrong way at a time when not much good is happening. I like almost all of the mechanics we have here at CMR. There have only been a very few number of them that have been a**holes while I was around them.

As far as me complaining about the automatic ball scratcher, if it isn't working correctly it will be written up. What am I supposed to do if I get an FAA inspector come on board and notice that it isn't scratching his balls at the required speed? Do I just say, "Well, the mechanic didn't want to be bothered with this" while he takes my certificate? You do understand that as the PIC of the aircraft that if I fly with something that is defective and not deferred it is my ticket that is going in the crapper.

As far as the person who told me to "chill out dude," how would you like it if someone called your whole profession a bunch of "a**holes?" Probably wouldn't take it very nicely, I'm betting.

Anyway, for the few of you that I have talked to, I think that you know that I am not an a**hole pilot who thinks he is the king of the world. I am there to do a job that I love. (even though the management doesn't want me to love it.) If you don't like me because of the uniform I wear, then that is your problem.

Jeremy

Oh yeah, I also thought the original post was funny. It was just the post from Quick LX that got me going.

[CinciCobra]

Man if I got pissed just because someone called my profession a bunch of assholes, I wouldn't have time to scratch my balls!!!! :D

I get called a racist, an a-hole, a m-f'er, and a whole book of other crap just because of the uniform I wear........and that was just yesterday. Who gives a shit, I am not the speaker of the house for my career field. Don't take it personally here, I think QuickLX was just speaking about his pilots and not you.

BTW, my old man is a helo pilot and thinks all fixed wing avaitors are lazy and just didn't work hard enough to fly rotary......:flipoff: :D j/k

[jrmylmach1]

I agree with you. I shouldn't let what someone says on here get to me. I am just having a bad year. I will agree with quick lx that there are some pilots out there that are a**holes. When I was a first officer I flew with a bunch of guys who were like that. That was one of the reasons that I upgraded to Captain as fast as I could. That being said, I am sure that not all of the pilots where he works are a**holes. Maybe just a couple. Of course if you only have 8 pilots that is a large percentage.

Anyway, I will let bygones be bygones. No hard feelings. :bigthumb

Jeremy

I just noticed the comment about the helo pilots. I actually wanted to do that but didn't have the money that it costs to go that route. That was part of the reason for me going in the army and working on them.

[e5shea]

I'm an A&P mech and worked on F-18's for 5 years in the Marine Corps. You wanna meet some smart asses? Visit some Marines.

One of my favorite sign offs for a gripe was "R&R yolk actuator"

Another one of my favorites came from a buddy of mine when one of our Hornets had a bird strike.

Gripe: inspect portside leading edge surfaces and ram air scoops. Check secondary heat exchanger fins for damage.

mech sign off: Removed panels 37L, 32L, and 18L. Inspected secondary heat exchanger; no damage. However it is apparent that bird shit himself just prior to impact.

[e5shea]

Then there was always the fabled pissing match between pilots and mechs where the mech would say:
"what the hell is the matter with you? did you go to college or something"
or
"you fly'em, and I'll fuckin' fix'em..."

[quik lx]

Anyway, I will let bygones be bygones. No hard feelings. :bigthumb



Sorry you took offense to my comments, that's why I said 8 (meaning my 8) and MY pilots in the next post. I never said ALL pilots.

No hard feelings hear either...I got to much drag racing to do!:cool1:

[quik lx]

worked on F-18's for 5 years in the Marine Corps.

Cool! another X hornet wrench! I had 'em for 8 years. 14 lot 14's in VFA-113 and then 12 lot 8-14 at VX-9. Even got to work on the E and F's a little at the end in China Lake.

That's me up on the wing with the finger malfunction! Stuck wing fold tranny!

[e5shea]

Cool! another X hornet wrench! I had 'em for 8 years. 14 lot 14's in VFA-113 and then 12 lot 8-14 at VX-9. Even got to work on the E and F's a little at the end in China Lake.

That's me up on the wing with the finger malfunction! Stuck wing fold tranny!

eff it...leave on the port shelf and launch it off cat 4 only!!!! You know that's what you were thinking at about mid cruise!!! And in the back of your mind you were praying that nobody uttered the words "can it" If I had a buck for every canniblized turbine or SMURF valve, I could be retired.